An excerpt from Jan Groenveld’s excellent post on the pain of leaving a cult.

IT HURTS when you know your faith in God hasn’t changed — only your trust in an organization — yet you are accused of apostasy, being a trouble maker, a “Judas”. It hurts even more when it is your family and friends making these accusations.

IT HURTS to realize their love and acceptance was conditional on you remaining a member of good standing. This cuts so deeply you try and suppress it. All you want to do is forget - but how can you forget your family and friends?

IT HURTS to see the looks of hatred coming from the faces of those you love — to hear the deafening silence when you try and talk to them. It cuts deeply when you try and give your child a hug and they stand like a statue, pretending you aren’t there. It stabs like a knife when you know your spouse looks upon you as demonised and teaches your children to hate you.

So - I am being sued for “defamation and intentional inflicting of emotional distress.” Poor Bill & Ardith. What a heart breaker. They screw with families for years, than they find a few that wont play by their rules and run and hide, so they cry foul. Well, let me make this very plain: Do evil, live with the result you get.

I look forward to seeing Bill & Ardith in court. I wonder, have they so crippled my wife at this point that she will lie for them too? I hope not but we shall see. Let’s explore some of the more interesting items in this lawsuit:

Defendants have been using various tags, headers and other internet tools so that their messages against Plaintiffs come up ahead of other information about them when one uses William Keef’s or Ardith Keef’s names and/or professional occupations when searching for information about them on the Internet.

LOL - Wow! WordPress has tags! Who’d have thought it? I wonder what the “headers” and other internet tools could be? Perhaps Judy Potter could figure out what she’s talking about before spouting out about things she doesn’t know.

Or, how about this little gem?

In a Lawyer’sGuide.com Review, dated April 13, 2008, Brian Dobson said that Ardith Keef should not be hired as an attorney because she is the leader of a cult that endorses and acts toward the goal of separating families.

This is the actual writing (which I wholehardedly believe):

I would be very careful using Ardith Keef as an attorney and would highly recommend that you google her name prior to making your decision.

While she is a professor of music and a member of the Portland Chamber Orchestra she has also been implemented as a cult leader for a group known as Anchor Missionary Fellowship.

I am in an interesting position as 1) She used to be my attorney (and I was a member of this group) and 2) My wife has been living in the cult’s home at 10 Preble street since December of 07, even going so far as to block access between our 19 month old son (who is with her) and his 11 and 4 year old brothers. They have not seen each other in four months.

This group, under her leadership, endorse and act toward the goal of separating families.

Be very wary of this attorney.

Then, here’s this one:

Brian Dobson contacted a supplier of Ardith Keef’s business and told them that they should not do business with these people because they separate families and are leaders of a cult.

This is what I actually wrote:

Hello,

I wanted to contact you regarding a retailer of your products in
Gorham ME. This business operates online as ardithkeef.com and used to
have a retail store in Scarborough, ME. They have sense closed the
retail store and are now operating out of the headquarters in Gorham.
I am contacting you to let you know that this business operates as the
financial end of an abusive church group called Anchor Missionary
Fellowship. My wife and myself once attended this “church” and we both
(like most members) worked for ardithkeef.com.

In the span of two years this group has shown their true colors. My
wife has been completely separated from her biological family, my
biological family, and as of last December, myself and her two step
children (who have not seen their youngest brother, living at the
chuch headquarters, since last December.) This is due to the groups
teachings.

There is much more than I can say in a short email but there are two
websites that cover the situation is considerable depth:

http://anchormissionaryfellowshipcult.wordpress.com/about-2/
http://www.anchorabuse.org

I am coordinating a boycott of this company and I would ask that you
evaluate the material and decide for yourself if this is an
organization that you are comfortable in supporting.

Best Regards,
Brian Dobson

So, that’s the truth as I see it. Good luck Bill. Good luck Ardith. I hope you can find a lot of liars to back you up on this one. If you would like to see the tripe in it’s entirety, I have posted it to the site as a pdf.

Well, I see the pink box is gone! Ardith Keef has started an all new site dedicated to her daily devotionals. That is great, and I can only hope and pray that this illustrates a real change in Ardith and that this is but the first step in becoming a Christian that doesn’t separate families and hurt people that simply question why?

But, in the event it’s just the same old excrement with new paint, I have found a site that looks eerily similar to hers, dedicated to debunking her writings.

It can be found by clicking here.

I recently came across a blog by yet another person who has felt the “Blessings” of Bill and Ardith Keef. It’s a good read and shows the humility, love, and faith in the writer. A definate must read: http://teachmewisdom.com/?p=12

From the front page of anchorabuse.org, an anti-AMF website.

I came across this written by Ardith Keef today:

Being accepted in Christian circles should never determine the direction of prayer. - Ardith Keef

This from a woman that prayed for her last husband to die in front of witnesses. I have to tell you that if your prayers are so far outside of the will of God that you wouldn’t be accepted in Christian circles for praying them then, uh, you got an issue and it’s clear that your not praying within the will of God.

Then there’s this:

If you have found you have participated in gossip, tread carefully. You are already on thin ice and you must confess your sin before you pray about the thing you have just heard. - Ardith Keef

Gossip at Anchor? What on earth would Anchor members have to gossip about? Divorces perhaps? Families separated for fun? Ruthless attacks on good people? Slander? Calling people bi-polar? Brainwashing? My, my, nothing to talk about at Anchor.

Whoever you are praying within the will of God and outside of the will of Ardith, Anchor, and Bill, God bless you. It’s about time someone actually takes the Lord seriously over there. Please, pray for His will according to His Word, not hers.

I kind of have to wonder what exactly Ardith is thinking in pushing my wife to a divorce. Certainly it’s not helping their case in defending themselves from their cult like behavior. Even their own members are looking, asking questions, and doing what they can to be as uninvolved as possible. Even their own members know that it’s wrong.

I wonder what they hoped to acomplish? Surely they didn’t think that the websites would come down? Perhaps they did think that. If they did they failed to remember that I tried that once and was shunned by my wife anyway. Once bitten, twice shy - I don’t get fooled twice. Perhaps they think that after the divorce is final I will go off to other things. They are partially right, of course. I will ultimately rebuild my life. Yet this blog costs me nothing and I have no reason to take it down. Surely they know that too?

It could have been any of those things - or it could be just pure revenge. Whatever it is there are a few things that I know:

1. My wife is a good person.
2. My wife has a conscience.
3. Despite all indications, my wife loves me.
4. Despite all indications, my wife loves her step children.
5. My wife is honestly seeking the Lord.
6. My wife has not yet found Him.
7. I have no doubt that she will find Him, and when she does, her eyes will be opened.

I know, Ardith & Bill, that despite the control you have over Ruth-Anne she will ultimately see through you. No one can read the bible as much as she does and continue to believe your interpretation of Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 2:18, 21-24, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 18:22, Ecclesiastes 9:9, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Timothy 5:14, Titus 2:3-5, Hebrews 13:4, 1 Peter 2:25-3:2, 3:7 and many, many more.

I have faith, not only in God, but in my wife. I always have. She is intelligent and so full of faith.

This writing is in direct response to a recent writing of Ardith Keef in which she details evaluating cults by belief. This is absolutely substandard, wrong, and reflects a complete lack of research into the subject. First off, the term cult is perfectly meaningless as it can be ascribed to virtually any large group (for instance, Christianity itself falls under the man made definition of cult.) What we’re really talking about is a “destructive cult.” That is, a group of people dedicated to a common belief in which the membership is hurt in one way or another by the group. This may come from destruction of relationships, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, abusing the member’s finances, or any harm to the individual as a result of the group.

Can a destructive cult be evaluated based on beliefs? Absolutely not. I am a Christian - does that allow me to evaluate any other group as to weather or not they are a destructive cult? Of course not. By evaluating beliefs the best I can hope to determine is weather or not they are conducive to what I believe Christianity should be. Totally subjective on my part.

No, weather or not a group is destructive is based on what happens to those around them. Plain and simple. What happens to the members? To the members families? Are relationships strengthened or attacked? Are marriages helped or hurt? Are people encouraged to give? How much? 10% or 100%?

Interestingly enough the biblical standard in evaluating a church is to “test the fruit.” Well, that is clear in establishing the validity of any group and weather or not they are destructive. I consider Scientology a destructive cult, not because they have a science based religion but because there is considerable evidence that their members are hurt financially and emotionally, as well as the doctrine of SPs and members separating from those same SPs. I consider Anchor Missionary Fellowship a destructive cult based on virtually the same factors - though I do not feel that they take advantage of their membership in the financial realm as much as Scientologists do - though I once heard their leadership say it’s OK to tithe 100%.

If a group separates familys it is, in my opinion, a destructive cult. I know that Anchor is first hand because I’ve watched it happen. Of course, there are other areas in which Anchor qualifies as a destructive cult and I encourage the reader to peruse this blog to find more. Just remember that weather a group believes in Jesus Christ as Lord or the flying spaghetti monster as creator does not determine weather or not the group is a destructive cult. It only determines if their beliefs are parallel to your own. Destructive cults hurt their members.

Dear Members of Anchor Missionary Fellowship,

I hope this letter finds you well. I cannot help but wonder how many of you watched this situation occur, watched your leadership seperate Ruth-Anne and I, and wondered why it was happening. I know I certainly wondered what was happening. I wonder, as my wife lives in terror of her husband, step-children, and her own biological parents I wonder just how many of you really go along believing what is said. I have no doubt you sit there in your meetings, shaking your heads, without the courage to say what’s right. Do you realize that you yourself are culpable for what is happening?

You can have no doubt now that AMF is way, way, way off track. Your leadership is defending divorce - implying that the Lord is leading away from His own Word. Can you seriously believe that is the case? Can you seriously believe that because I am willing to speak the truth I should lose my wife? Come to think of it, why does the truth scare Bill, Ardith, and yes, Ruth-Anne too? What is it that causes fear in their hearts? Clearly Ruth-Anne is terrified of me and Devin. Why?

Are you aware that Devin is on trial here? Do you know that by agreement my visits are not supervised any more? Do you know why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON FOR THEM TO BE AND THERE NEVER WAS. But now that it’s become apparent that there is absolutely no reason for me to have to be supervised with my own son, AMF’s next best is to put Devin on trial? Have you heard of anything so disgusting as that?

How can you validate the continued support of leadership that is advocating things completely and totally against the Word? They are in control because you allow them to be. I know that your not all brainwashed by what is going on. Some of you are around real, solid Christians all day long. Is it your own marriages your in fear of?

I hope the very best for you but I fear the very worst. You act as though your lemmings, jumping off the cliff in a “soldiers” marching step. It is my sincere hope that you all regain your consciences before it’s too late for you. Before you go through all the heart-ache that I, my family, my children, Ruth-Anne’s parents, siblings, and friends, past Anchor members, ex spouses, and torn children have been through, thanks to your heartless heretic leadership.

Beware the wolves in sheep’s clothing. They will eat you up and spit you out just as they have done to three boys, aged 12, 4, and 2.

Respectfully,

Brian

Have you ever heard the term “groupthink?” Groupthink is a phenomena that tends to be exhibited in groups unless certain steps are taken to minimize it. The most famous examples of groupthink include both the Challenger explosion, costing the lives of the astronauts involved, and the Bay of Pigs fiasco. Typically speaking group members have a tendency to agree with each other. A big reason for this is simply to not feel outside the group.

This is from Wikipedia, and details Irving Janis’ eight symptoms that are indicative of groupthink :

Illusions of invulnerability creating excessive optimism and encouraging risk taking.

Rationalising warnings that might challenge the group’s assumptions.

Unquestioned belief in the morality of the group, causing members to ignore the consequences of their actions.

Stereotyping those who are opposed to the group as weak, evil, disfigured, impotent, or stupid.

Direct pressure to conform placed on any member who questions the group, couched in terms of “disloyalty”.

Self censorship of ideas that deviate from the apparent group consensus.

Illusions of unanimity among group members, silence is viewed as agreement.

Mindguards — self-appointed members who shield the group from dissenting information.

When you mix this with aggressive and manipulating leadership you have, at best, a recipe for a very abusive group. Mix in some religion and spiritual words and, folks, you have yourself a cult.

The funny thing is it’s in everyones best interest to think outside the box. To be willing to stand up for ideas or beliefs that are outside the group’s opinions. Rather than help everyone members of the group will hide their thoughts just to be accepted. This is one of the ways that cults flourish - that fear of not being accepted.

Imagine how many things could be different, in so many different situations, if someone had the guts to stand up and say “this is wrong?”